What does the word failure mean to you?
If you look up failure in the dictionary, its definition is ‘lack of success’ and ‘non-performance of something due, required, or expected.’ But what defines success?
We define success or take on other people’s definition of what success looks like. It is our expectations that define if we have succeeded or failed.
The reason I decided to write an article about this subject is because everyone feels like they have failed at something in their lifetime and what I have learnt from my own ‘failures’ is that they were actually stepping-stones too much more wonderful successes! Without having learnt from my experiences I wouldn’t be doing what I love today.
So, instead of thinking (egoic mind) that we have failed, could we turn it on its head and view the experience in a more positive light? Could we just view the experience as just a part of our journey and see the learnings so we can change it for the better? This is ultimately all about our own perception as to what classes as failure!
I wrote in my last post about losing my job and this was one of my ‘perceived’ BIGGEST failures. I was devastated and cried for a few days! I panicked and was so worried about not being able to pay my bills and mortgage. I felt that my world had collapsed! This of course was not the case, what had happened was that my fear of the unknown had completely taken over and my egoic mind was telling me the worst case scenario, such as I was going to lose my home, I would never get another job, etc etc!!
Once I had calmed down, I had a look at my options and also felt and tried to understand why this had happened. I knew I didn’t like the company or my boss and was working so many hours that I felt exhausted all the time. Violet-Light was also starting to do okay and I was running this in my spare time, so no wonder something had to give! I finally realised that the universe had given me a helping hand! Even though I realised that this new path was actually for my highest good, I was still very scared and upset! It is all very well understanding that losing your job is actually a good thing, but it doesn’t suddenly take away money worries or security fears!! The egoic mind is still right there with you!
I decided on a new plan and rented out my flat and went travelling and as the story goes it all worked out well in the end! However, it took me a long time to let go of what I perceived as a ‘failure’. I had to do a lot of forgiveness work and let go of my pride as this had taken a severe knock! This experience taught me so many things and now I have finally (after a long time and quite a bit of spiritual work!) realised that I didn’t fail and I am not a failure! It has also taught me that I immediately label an experience as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. I obviously labelled losing my job as bad, but actually it was the best thing that has ever happened to me!
I am now trying to understand what an experience is teaching me rather than labelling it and creating my own internal story about it! This helps give me a different perspective on what is actually happening and when we do this, we tend to take a step back and look at the whole picture, which can change our perception of the experience greatly.
Yesterday, I decided to close down my online shop, Spiritual Delights, and this made me realise something HUGE! I didn’t view closing down my store, which I only set up last year, as a failure! This is one of the reasons I had to write this article!! I realised that I had learnt the lessons from my previous experience and am just taking this as part of my journey!
I felt guided to open a store that complemented my Violet-Light business and I put a lot of time, effort and money into it with very little return over the last few months! I spent some time understanding how I felt about my store and then realised it wasn’t what I wanted to do anymore! I didn’t want to be like every other store where you can buy incense, sage, pendants etc. I wanted to offer something a bit more unique!
Before deciding to close my store, I spent some time thinking and feeling about what I wanted to do next. I decided on a new plan with both my businesses and how I would like it all to work together. I got so excited and very creative with this process and have already started putting my new plan into action! So when it came to what to do with the stock I am not going to need anymore, I just knew it was right to discount it, offer free shipping and hopefully in the next month sell the stock through! I didn’t even think of it as having failed as it helped show me what I actually wanted!
The more I thought about this, the more I thought I should feel like I have failed at this, but there were no feelings of failure, just feelings of excitement for my new venture! I love all the products I chose for my store and I went through them all yesterday, which was actually rather fun! As a lot of them are individual items like the silver pendants and I chose them because I thought each one was lovely! I also thought if a few of these don’t sell, I may keep a couple for myself or give them away as presents!! So the ‘love’ part is still there!
My perception of what I classed as ‘failure’ had changed!
I just saw my store as something I had tried, which wasn’t working for me anymore, but had taught me what I wanted to do next and I am so excited about my next project!!
The energies this month (and the previous few months!) have helped us create many unexpected and also challenging experiences! However, if something you deem as ‘bad’ has happened to you recently, I would urge you to have another look at your experience! See what you have learnt, feel the emotions that it brought up as perhaps this is something that you need to work through as it could be affecting other areas of your life. My big emotion when I lost my job was all to do with my need to control everything! I needed to let this go! Although this is still work in progress, but I have come a long way!!
Understanding the biggest emotion that comes from a ‘perceived’ bad experience can be the one thing that is really key to unlocking our spiritual growth. I know my need to control everything so I feel secure is one of my biggest lessons and the more I work on this and allow then the greater my connection to Source becomes and the more energy I have to work with! Basically, we shift and expand when we are able to allow and let go of our greatest fears!
I hope this has helped you look at ‘failure’ in a new light as it is all about YOUR perception!
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Wishing you a blissful month ahead.
Love & Blessings